I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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