He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
