We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
