windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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