no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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