Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
