I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
