I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
My liver just broke up with me...
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize