There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
