oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
