Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You made out with two different species that night
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Randomize
