I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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