Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
