we have officially lost it.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
