hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
