My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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