Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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