yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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