could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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