I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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