his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
