You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
