I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
