Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
These tits shall not be calmed
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
