he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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