Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm both gender and math confused
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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