she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
