She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
