hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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