you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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