I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
