Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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