3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
