Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
