remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
