so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
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