Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
