I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
