You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
