Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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