I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
