Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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