Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
