im drinking this country out of the recession.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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