what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
