Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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