As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
As shirtless as possible
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
