she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
it's like heaven, but drunker
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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