Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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