so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Randomize
