I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
