i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
