I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
