so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
whose parrot is this?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
