from now on my penis is your penis
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Randomize
