do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
you had me at cake vodka
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
