if i died would you start the facebook group?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
