toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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