How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
