but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
