He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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