we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
