that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
