I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
