I saw his package. It spoke to me.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
