i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize