at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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