i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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