I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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