just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
