I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
