It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
